The Chronicles of Z – Week 1

Hi all!  My name is Z.  I used to be called Black Widow, but my dad says I needed a name that was easier to say when we’re running really fast at something called agility.  I don’t know what agility is yet, but my dad says I’ll know soon enough.

I’ve been with my new family for a week now.  When I left my old family said I was “going south” which they said would mean it would be warmer.  I’m not sure what they are talking about as it’s cold here too!  I hope my brothers and sisters are in warm places because this cold is no fun.  If I stand in the snow or on the cement for too long my little feet started getting so cold I can’t stand on them anymore!  It’s been so cold that I didn’t want to go outside to pee and kept going in the house.  My mom and dad were even trying to help me go outside at the right time, but I told them that it was too cold.  Sometimes when they would open the door I would feel the cold air and just go right there.  Mom and Dad were understanding at first, but now they have started scolding me if they catch me in the act when I’m in the house.  However, when I’m outside they always praise me and tell me how awesome I am.  I like that reaction better so I’ve been trying real hard to only go outside.

My journey home was a long journey and I spent most of it in a small crate.  That was no fun.  We spent all day in noisy places with a lot of people. Dad was with me the whole time and kept muttering about airports and delays.  I don’t think he was real happy because he said we got home a lot later than we should have.  I had a lot of people come up to me and tell me how cute I am.  Sometimes I had to bark at other people because I thought they were carrying weapons that make noise.  After a few ferocious barks they would turn around and go the other way.  I showed them!  When we finally arrived at my new home I got to meet my mom.  She was real nice.  She likes to feed me treats and other yummy food.  I also got to meet all my new sisters.  They are all so big.  Luna is a lot of fun!  She likes to play bitey face with me.  My sister Onyx only plays with me a little bit.  No matter how much I try to play bitey face with her she just mutters to anybody that will listen about how stupid puppies are.  My dad keeps telling me that my puppy card will run out with Onyx at some point, but I don’t know what that means.  I’ll just continue to bite her face and try to steal her chewing bone.  She hates it, but I like it!  My other sister Jane didn’t want anything to do with me at first.  She tried to pretend I didn’t exist.  I think she secretly likes me, but wants to pretend to be different.  Sometimes when Dad isn’t looking she will play with me and it’s a lot of fun!  She’ll even play with me outside.   I also met these other creatures that are my size.  My Dad says they are assholes.  I don’t what those are, but they are weird. They all carry knives and won’t hesitate to use them on me if I try to play with them.  They are also quick to punch me.  They aren’t nice to me.  I like to yell at them hoping they understand that I just want to play.  So far they just ignore me and try to pretend I don’t exist.

Every day Dad takes me to the back of my house where he says I need to start learning things.  I don’t know what he’s talking about, but whatever it is he gives me a lot of treats for doing it!  He’s showed me how to do some stuff so whenever I can I try to do what I think he wants to so I can get some of those yummy treats.  So far he has had me get on some things he calls a balance disc.  They feel weird when I stand on them and sometimes it feels like I will fall off because I get wobbly when I stand on them.  He has also asked me to step on this small piece of carpet.  That isn’t wobbly when I do it.  So I think that’s easier.  It’s also fun to try and bite it sometimes.  I’m not supposed to do that, but I think it’s fun to try!   Dad told me that this is the first step of something he calls a running dog walk.  He says I’ll understand when I’m older.  I’ve also been shown how to go around in circles around a pole that is standing.  Dad gives me a lot of treats for that too.  We also play a lot of tug when we go back there.  I really like doing that!

Other than that, I’ve learned how to get on the couch and bed.  The couch was easy, but the bed took me a few days to figure out!  Even after figuring it out it sometimes takes me a lot of attempts to get up there.  But I love it up there because it’s so soft.  Also sometimes there is a monster that lives in the bed.  It likes to bite me, but I bite back and eventually I am able to kill it.  My sister Jane says it comes back every night so she said we must stay vigilant and be ready to kill it.  I also showed everybody my singing voice.  Mom and Dad said that it’s loud and not that good.  The first couple of days I was at home I would sing for everybody when they put me in a kennel so they could go to sleep.  I didn’t like going in there.  Now that I know they aren’t going to leave me in there forever I don’t sing for them anymore.  I do try to tell them if I have to go pee, though.

Hopefully I will have sometime next week to tell you all about what I did.